A few months ago, I saw a quote on Instagram that read:
If you only share fragments of yourself with the world, you will never feel whole.
It only takes me one hand to count the number of times in my life where I have felt completely, undeniably, whole. Like I had nothing in me to hide and I chose to stand there, in the wholeness of myself, unapologetically.
Those moments are like shooting stars in the sky that often escape our sight until the tail end of their trajectory disappears over the horizon. A look to the sky, muttering to ourselves, “I could have sworn I just saw a flash of light.”
Yes, a flash of light.
And yet, there are people who seem to live in the light. It doesn’t flash for them. Instead, it acts like a spotlight, a source of light that lies within them, and emanates the light through and out from them. Only rarely does it dim.
The hours of time I spent in psychology courses, and therapy sessions, and conversation with others, tells me that we each have our own, inner spotlight. It’s in there, somewhere. It’s not a matter of some people being born with it, the lucky ones, and others not. It’s in there, somewhere. First, it’s about finding it. Then, it’s about building and growing and empowering the vulnerability to power on the light, and keep it burning.
But how?
How does one share all these fragments of themselves to reach a state of wholeness? Does it require verbal declarations to an audience? Does it require a press release to disseminate amongst society? Can these fragments be shared through mannerisms and appearances and preferential activities? After the act of sharing has been done, how can one be assured the message has been received?
Maybe privacy isn’t the gold standard that we should be striving for: to keep some, or most, things about ourselves private, only privy to those in our immediate circle. To maintain privacy can invoke feelings of shame, or regret, or unworthiness if one believes that the world would be better off if people could see only the mask they have deemed appropriate, and safe, to be seen by the greater world.
But, you see, the more that people know about you, the more they can understand, empathize, support, and love.
Perhaps it’s best if people know about the medical treatment you’re receiving, the loss and grief and heartbreak you’re struggling to navigate through, the joy and celebration you feel for the positive news you’ve just received, the thing you think that only you have ever felt when in reality, there are many, many people in the world who understand how you’re feeling. Perhaps it’s best if people know your dreams, your goals, the passions that make you come alive, or the deepest, darkest secrets you have buried deep within your heart because you believe they will only cast shame upon you if they were given words, and space, to breathe.
To bring all parts of us out into the open, out into the world, allows the dark and the light to be seen, to be celebrated, to be wrapped in wholeness. To understand that in the depths of the human experience, we have more in common with one another than we have different. That by finding the courage to bring forward all the fragments of yourself out into the world beyond your body and mind, you may inspire someone else to do the same. What a beautiful ripple to create in the waters of humanity.
I continue to gather the flashes of light, the tail ends of shooting stars and the warmth I remember feeling in my body as I stood tall and strong and true. I gather these fragments, these beams of light, to stand in wholeness.
Will you?
Dawning Words 