Author: jennadawn

befriending me

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Talking to myself
as I would to a friend in pain.

You don’t have to be perfect today,
or any day.
Listen to your body
and give her what she needs.
Take it easy. Be gentle.
Do what feels good.
Love yourself through this.
This is only temporary.

I’m here for you.
You are not alone.

constructive feedback

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Month after month, time after time,
I wind up here.
Nothing works.
I try, I hope, I visualize,
hell, I even pray.
Nothing.

The growing pile of failed attempts
casts a shadow, longer this month
than last.

Can someone please tell me
what I’m doing wrong?

voiceless words

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I have much to say
to contribute to the conversation,
to expose my experience,
to connect.

I can feel the words on my tongue,
in my throat,
poised to drip from my lips.
I cannot add my voice to them
before the topic changes,
before everyone else moves on
so they remain, poised and powerful.

They retreat back, away from my mouth,
down my throat
dropping into the stomach,
a series of small dead weights.
Contracting to comfort them,
my body crumbles in on itself
until I am nothing but a ball
of voiceless words.

deceptive roads

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I cannot help but think about the past
imagining the could-have-beens
for me,
and all who crossed my path.
A deceiving road to travel,
and one cunning enough to make me believe
the pictures my mind paints for me.

Today I’m diving head-first into the paint,
the scenes of memories long recollected
accurately.
I see me, I see them,
I see a dozen different outcomes
besides the reality proven true
by where I am now, here.

It’s entertaining,
it’s painful,
it’s therapeutic.

glimmer of reality

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Partway through a scene I stop myself.
Even in this trance-like state, I know
this is unrealistic.
You would never act this way.

I like to live in lands of make-believe
but the unfolding of this plot
cannot fool me.

Some dim glimmer of reality must remain
alight.