It’s a funny thing
to realize, before my eyes
the true motives behind the plan
I had crafted for days,
perfecting every detail in my mind’s eye.
The truth stung me like a wasp.
Still, it hurts.
Category: Free Verse
after some time away
Wading through the murky waters
of words that don’t make sense together
but I write them together anyway
hoping they can make it work
but realizing on the second read-through
that no, it doesn’t work.
Wading through the muddy waters
realizing how muddy they can get
after spending time on dry land for a while,
I cannot expect to jump right in
to the crystal clear blue lake on the first page,
or the fifth.
Trudging through the mud and the muck,
the frustrations, shame and self-doubt
squish out from underneath my boots
to float up and around me in a haze.
At least I’m getting them up and out
to meet them in the eye.
With each step, the mud recedes,
and the clarity expands.
Just keep going,
just keep writing.
peace in the surrender
If we can accept
the limited control we have
over the plan, over our futures,
perhaps we can find some peace in the surrender.
But first, we must surrender.
burn for myself
I’m tired of hiding,
of trying to cover up the parts of me
that express who I am.
I no longer want to be
always searching for the appropriate mold
for each situation
and contort to fit into it.
For too long
I’ve melted my wax body into a glass jar
so someone else can light the wick
enjoy the scent I burn.
Now, I burn for myself.
smooth, soft, sky
Sky painted by an ombre
blue to pink to grey to white
a continuous gradient
smooth as a hardwood floor,
no clouds to ruffle the texture up.
Wrap me in the softness
as it descends upon me like a
fresh-from-the-dryer bedsheet
whipped high above the bed to,
in each fibre’s own time,
grace upon the mattress
and skin.
extra love
I may need some extra love
and compassion
but I will make it through this
one day at a time
one moment at a time
one breath at a time.
magic to witness in patience
Flowers cannot bloom all at the same time.
Even on the same plant
with multiple buds,
some bloom while others shrivel.
Each grows through its own ebbs and flows,
ever changing.
To draw inferences on a flower’s capabilities
based on one moment of observation
creates extreme expectations and judgements.
To observe over days, weeks, seasons,
creates a grounded reality, an understanding.
One method quick and easy,
the other long and patient.
We can find the beautiful magic to witness
in patience
if we choose.
cannot carry it all
Recognize what’s yours to carry
and what you can leave behind.
You cannot carry it all,
so let go of the excess.
You are worthy, you are enough,
with carrying only what you need.
Leave the rest.
know stillness and silence
Grow comfortable in uncertainty
where change infiltrates the air
the future holds infinite possibilities
and you’re standing in the middle.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t always need to be moving towards something.
Stillness and silence are beautiful
and necessary.
Get to know them,
so you can understand
you don’t have to be afraid of them.
desire for new music
Narratives cycling over and over in my head
like records on repeat
continue playing in the background
despite attempts to press stop,
pull the power cord from the wall,
destroy the battery.
The songs keep playing.
My attempts to play a new song, or songs,
of a different genre
are acknowledged, briefly,
but cast aside in preference of the old and familiar.
Why do I do this? How?
I devote my being to this cause,
to make it through one, two, even four songs at a time,
slowly rewiring,
building comfort with new genres,
new artists.
It will take a long time
to sever and rebuild,
but I can see a light shining
on the new music, waiting to be wired into me,
and it’s beautiful.
Dawning Words 