I live my life through the words I write
You describe a weight
hanging from your body,
and your desire for it to release, and lift.
I see the weight you carry.
I carry part of it with my own arms
whether you see me brace my body under it
or not.
I, too, yearn to see it release and lift.
Until it does, we will carry it together.
Uncertainty
riddles my logical, planning mind
as though I were in a bingo hall
watching the balls fly about
in the plastic container beside the person with the microphone.
Who knows which one will come out next?
One can only hope for what they need.
Flying around in the transparent container
I see chaos, I feel chaos.
Endless possibilities with unlimited sequences.
All I can do is wait,
marker poised,
to hear the next step blare through the sound system.
Showered by the wind
fresh, new air washes over every inch
of my indoor acclimated skin,
blowing away residue of emotions, thoughts,
clinging to me still.
Walking into and with,
I feel the power of the wind
penetrate deeper than skin,
marveling at the strength to accomplish this,
a force I cannot see.
I feel renewed,
wiped clean as a slate to start again.
Surf along the rolling tides
there’s no use trying to swim against the current
the only person you’ll end up hurting
is yourself
and when you depend on you, like you do,
it’s not worth the compromise.
Time and time again
I’m knocked down to my knees
by an event of immense magnitude
because all the smaller signs along the way,
I’ve missed.
Tragedy, sickness, death,
these are what it takes for me to stop,
re-evaluate my priorities,
make space to enjoy this gift of a life
I’ve been blessed to receive.
Maybe this time will be different.
Maybe this time I will carry forward
the gratitude, the presence,
the love I have found again.
I need this time to be different,
and will make it so.
My breath is here to support me,
staying close at hand,
a gentle friend to call upon
in times of need.
I have needed her
in the late night and early morning hours
yesterday, today, to guide me
away from anxiety,
back into reality.
Please, breath, stay close to me.
I need you now,
and always.
You can build up, create, in your mind,
what you believe to be the perfect way
to tell your story.
Down to the pauses, and tone of voice,
you can perfect it all.
Keep your truth, your excitement,
closer to heart than their reactions.
Sometimes all we can do
is breathe,
find stillness,
and accept the truth of what is.
For now,
let that be enough.
Accept that today is a different day
than yesterday.
Each day stands on its own.
A good day yesterday
cannot guarantee carryover to today.
Accept today for what it is,
what it has been already, and what it can be.
Make the best of it that you can
for that act, in itself, is a success
worth celebrating.
The voice in my head
barely recognizable as my own
reminds me of my flaws,
paints my shortcomings,
whispering, “you can’t do this.”
Today I refuse to listen,
turn the volume down to a 1.
Forging ahead with ambitious purpose,
the only voice I hear today asks only one question:
“what’s next?”
This, then that, then that.
If I commit to believing in myself
my inner voice will follow suit.
Dawning Words 