small steps in the dark

For the part of my brain
that thrives on planning
having no concrete plan
leaves me wondering what to do
like putting one foot in front of the other
in a pitch black room
I have never been in before
earnestly reaching out for anything
any clue of place or floorplan
taking the wrong step
feels scarier
than taking no step at all.

Eventually
my eyes will adjust to the darkness
if only slightly.
I need to keep moving
somehow.
Small, cautious steps
are better than none –
I whisper to myself
over and over.
Rewiring my brain
thought by thought
step by step.

trusting life

Trust that life is unfolding
before you
according to a plan
even though
you do not know what the plan is.

Trust that the universe
supports you
and is supporting you
even in ways you cannot see.

Trust that things happen for a reason.
Some will forever lay
beyond your control
and maybe that’s for the best.

Reading passages over and over

Reading passages
over and over
but not like last time
with that other book
this time
I read the passages
over and over
for the comfort they offer
and sensations they generate
within my body
reminding me
to be vulnerable
to release through art
to create
to let go of perfectionism
to just be
with the people who know me
and even those who don’t
like she did
with the guy who wanted to know her
who didn’t run away
waited for her
until she was tired of hiding
and bared all to him
and they promised
to help each other
no matter how broken
they both feel
because no one is broken.

– Inspired by the book “The Words We Keep” by Erin Stewart

put on a new show

The old is familiar
and mindless
but is that really what you want?

Expose your mind
to the never-seen-before.
It will be OK.
You know how to protect yourself.
You can explore new things
and maybe even
discover new joy.

Putting on your old favorite show
for background noise
ends up being what you watch anyways
for the eleventh time
and when it’s done
and the pages remain empty
you feel empty too.
Challenge yourself.
You can put on a new show
allow it to captivate you
and simultaneously
spark inspiration for your words.

You can have it both ways,
which is what you want, anyway.

Stop putting yourself in boxes
behind barricades.
You’re capable of more than you realize
or imagine.

listening to nature

I hear the birds and I hear the branches
I hear the vehicles and I hear the leaves
I hear the people, the animals
and the machinery to keep us cool
and still
I seek to understand, to objectify, to name,
to satisfy my mind.

When my mind nudges in
for a turn at the microphone
she reminds me, again,
of past thoughts, past concerns
and future anxieties
I am trying to let fly away with the birds
I cannot see.

I hear these sounds,
I hear the music they orchestrate
but apart from the trees and leaves
I cannot see their sources.

I cannot see their source
and yet they are there,
they still reach my ears
somehow.

They come and go,
bending off and into each other
seamlessly
as if following a score
or being led by a conductor at the podium.
They trust in each other.
I close my eyes, expand my ears,
trusting the sounds will reach me
in nature’s perfection
without a need for rationality or manipulation.

Imagine, just for a moment,
the freedom, the weightlessness,
the joy,
of trusting that life will unfold as it is meant
if we are open enough
to hear it
to receive it
and to accept it.