voiceless words

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I have much to say
to contribute to the conversation,
to expose my experience,
to connect.

I can feel the words on my tongue,
in my throat,
poised to drip from my lips.
I cannot add my voice to them
before the topic changes,
before everyone else moves on
so they remain, poised and powerful.

They retreat back, away from my mouth,
down my throat
dropping into the stomach,
a series of small dead weights.
Contracting to comfort them,
my body crumbles in on itself
until I am nothing but a ball
of voiceless words.

deceptive roads

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I cannot help but think about the past
imagining the could-have-beens
for me,
and all who crossed my path.
A deceiving road to travel,
and one cunning enough to make me believe
the pictures my mind paints for me.

Today I’m diving head-first into the paint,
the scenes of memories long recollected
accurately.
I see me, I see them,
I see a dozen different outcomes
besides the reality proven true
by where I am now, here.

It’s entertaining,
it’s painful,
it’s therapeutic.

glimmer of reality

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Partway through a scene I stop myself.
Even in this trance-like state, I know
this is unrealistic.
You would never act this way.

I like to live in lands of make-believe
but the unfolding of this plot
cannot fool me.

Some dim glimmer of reality must remain
alight.

what the story does to me

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Time passes by me
quickly, effortlessly, joyfully.
I barely comprehend where it’s gone
when I look up at the clock
to register the difference in numbers.

That’s what the story does to me.
I enter a new, beautiful world,
a world I created.
I could stay there for hours.

I come alive there. I feel my heart glow.
And when I step away,
I’m counting down the minutes
until I can return.

listening to my body

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

It’s OK to take it easy,
slow down your pace for a while,
if your body tells you it needs such.

I hear this from my body today,
a yearning to just be,
without constraints or expectations.
She yearns for me to listen, and oblige,
the least I could do.

She asks for love, and compassion,
and acceptance.
Unconditionally.
“Love me just the way I am, now.”

So today, I will slow down,
listen to, and love
my body.