For how long
have I been living on autopilot?
Living the same cycles
over and over again
without critical analysis
of my intentions, purposes,
beliefs,
values?

Was it a method of survival,
sticking close to what I knew
and could trust,
when so much beyond
felt out of control,
despairing?

Was it an avoidance of vulnerability,
of coming face to face
with my deeper self
and acknowledging the change I wanted,
dreamed of,
but did not dare manifest?

Now, with space,
the questions and reflections pour into me
like a hot cup of coffee
filling the mug,
reaching the brim
and overflowing.

I can avoid them no longer
as a pool of coffee collects around the cup
and I am not one
to let coffee go to waste.