I live my life through the words I write
Recognizing
moments
of my nervous system
easefully resting,
my lungs breathing
slow and deep,
my mind clearing,
my heart
opening.
Recognizing
circumstances
welcoming
and embracing me
into this calmness.
Recognizing
the time spent away from here
and the nourishment
in this
reunion.
Noticing, how
when I leave the house
ridden with anxiety
my breaths are short and shallow,
my steps quick and rigid,
resisting the urge to run and cry
at the same time,
anything to make this feeling go away.
After ten minutes
my breaths are short
but deep on the inhale,
strong and forceful on the exhale.
After twenty minutes
my breaths deepen
my stride lengthens
and I find a rhythm.
And after thirty minutes,
maybe more,
I feel the anxiety release its final talon
and fly away.
My breathing calm,
my steps easy,
I walk a bit further
to soak in this feeling
a little longer.
Let me soak in this feeling
just a little bit longer.
Look down at your hands,
see the redness exposed in the deep layers of skin
underneath the outer.
The outer layers are gone.
The deeper skin, vulnerable;
often hidden away and protected
now can breathe its own air.
Feel the tenderness of each fingertip,
listen to their whispering requests for love.
How many other facets of the body
also whisper requests for love to you,
staying hidden in the deep, base layers
of who you are?
Though hidden from eyesight,
can you feel them?
Travel through the body with breath and presence
to locate and hear the whispers.
Rest now, dear one.
Skin and tissue will regenerate with time, and love.
Praise the sacrifices your body gifts,
praise its commitment to your life.
Rest now.
Trust me when I say:
Take things one breath at a time.
You will get through this.
Sweat dripping down my forehead,
gathering underneath my eyes and down my neck,
spreading out and over my arms
like water spilled from a glass
reaching out across the floor.
Thoughts of hot, running water and soap
traveling over my body
fill my mind through a vinyasa,
though I’m supposed to be focused on my breath.
Slowing down my breath and body
into the stillness of shavasana,
I rest in the final resting pose,
resting.
I roll over to the right side and push myself upright
to find my skin dry, the sweat evaporated,
leaving my skin with an energetic film
reminding me of the work I have done
for me.
I’ll keep it on my skin a while longer.
I may need some extra love
and compassion
but I will make it through this
one day at a time
one moment at a time
one breath at a time.
My breath is here to support me,
staying close at hand,
a gentle friend to call upon
in times of need.
I have needed her
in the late night and early morning hours
yesterday, today, to guide me
away from anxiety,
back into reality.
Please, breath, stay close to me.
I need you now,
and always.
With the cloth in my hand
I wipe away the dust, the grime,
make the porcelain shine white
and smell like lemons.
Week after week, it’s become a routine
to maintain upkeep.
With the breath flowing in and out of my nose,
I wipe away the splattered remnants
of anxiety’s lashes,
where she’s struck out against my body,
trying to take control of me.
My breath restores the light,
so I can shine, and smell like lemons.
Day after day, moment after moment,
minute after minute,
it’s become a routine
to maintain upkeep.
Breathing
has brought you here,
where you are now.
Breathing
will keep you here,
in the present moment.
Breathing
will push you forward,
to where you want to go.
Listen to the birds,
how they gently chirp and sing
with each other
to each other
their voices trailing in and out
amongst the breeze.
Try to emulate them.
Change your volume, tone,
and pace
to harmonize with the Earth,
not overpower.
Watch how your mind softens
your mind calms
your breath lengthens.
Experience, and embrace,
the transformation.
Dawning Words 