Tag: connect

A new journal, a new pen

~ jennadawn ~ 1 Comment

My counselor,
her name is Marcela,
assigned homework for me
during my last therapy session.
She said I had to go out
buy a notebook of visual appeal
alongside a high-grade pen.

The idea was to stimulate my creativity
with a notebook I liked to look at
and a pen I liked to write with
to make the experience enjoyable and enticing
to draw me in
to create for the sake of creating
to help me re-connect with this part of me
that, at times, seems to be fading.

So
one day after work I went to the bookstore.
I looked for a journal to catch my eye.
Funny how, at the same time,
my mind automatically eliminated some
because they looked too expensive.
Or,
I would find one that looked pretty
but my mind would convince me it wasn’t right
because of the size
because of the binding
because of the line spacing
because of the ‘fanciness’
because of the price.
If any journal held these qualities too well,
I told myself,
I would feel inherent pressure
to create content of high esteem, high value,
worthy enough to live between its covers
thereby creating more pressure
and likely, shying away from
scribbling out thoughts
for the mere purpose of releasing them.

What should have been instinctual
and taken seconds
took me minutes and minutes
standing in front of the journals
wrestling with my mind.

At last, I landed on this one.
Different than any I’ve had before
a thought-provoking cover
and on sale.

I chose a package of pens
I knew I would like
even though I could clearly see
the dozens of unused, good-enough pens
waiting at home.

A new journal
a new pen
starting a new journey
while I was away from home
in the mountains
looking for a reset
seemed fitting.
Connecting the stars within me
into constellations
bringing me back to myself
one page at a time
ink and words flowing.

find out where we’re going when we get there

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Let us walk down the street
read the shop signs and peek in the windows
lean into our intuition
of where we can nourish our minds and bodies.

We don’t need to make a plan
ahead of time.
We can allow our bodies to connect to nature;
the changing directions of the wind,
the building heat from the sun’s rays
as she ascends high into the sky
beyond the mountain peaks,
the winding trails through trees, along streams,
connecting to wonder.

Let us step into ourselves, into the world,
and find out where we’re going
when we get there.

Reading passages over and over

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Reading passages
over and over
but not like last time
with that other book
this time
I read the passages
over and over
for the comfort they offer
and sensations they generate
within my body
reminding me
to be vulnerable
to release through art
to create
to let go of perfectionism
to just be
with the people who know me
and even those who don’t
like she did
with the guy who wanted to know her
who didn’t run away
waited for her
until she was tired of hiding
and bared all to him
and they promised
to help each other
no matter how broken
they both feel
because no one is broken.

– Inspired by the book “The Words We Keep” by Erin Stewart

together again

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

You come to me in my dreams
when I least expect to see you
there you are
standing before me
beautiful as my memory remembers
you extend your hand
and I reach out mine
we connect
we are together
again.

energetic film

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Sweat dripping down my forehead,
gathering underneath my eyes and down my neck,
spreading out and over my arms
like water spilled from a glass
reaching out across the floor.

Thoughts of hot, running water and soap
traveling over my body
fill my mind through a vinyasa,
though I’m supposed to be focused on my breath.

Slowing down my breath and body
into the stillness of shavasana,
I rest in the final resting pose,
resting.

I roll over to the right side and push myself upright
to find my skin dry, the sweat evaporated,
leaving my skin with an energetic film
reminding me of the work I have done
for me.

I’ll keep it on my skin a while longer.

the grass and the dirt

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Threading the blades of grass
between my fingers
and toes
picking up small particles of dirt
from the soil beneath
reconnects me to the Earth
grounding
calming me back to centre.

This, right here,
is all I have.
Everything I see and think in my mind
are not here with me.
Only the grass and the dirt
are.

 

 

movie opportunity

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

After we lose connection
we almost always have the opportunity
to reconnect.
The movies sell us this idea
with dramatic music and obvious build-up
to the main event,
where broken hearts are whole once more.

Life is not like the movies.
We do not hear background music or see dramatic irony
to know when we are on the path
to re-connection.
In times like these,
maybe what we need to listen for
are the silent streets
and seldom-heard sounds within our own homes
to build the movie suspense.
We, right now,
have an opportunity to reconnect with the selves
we have lost in the midst of the non-stop,
chaotic lives that came to a halt,
because of another organism
who finally got its turn in the spotlight.

We can reconnect with ourselves,
the souls we call our own
and the souls of those near and dear.
Before we live in regret
we can repair those broken links
and make our hearts whole, and healed,
again.

This is the opportunity
to take over the script, and dialogue, of our movie.

Will you pick up a pen?