I live my life through the words I write
Can I offer enough forgiveness
to my past self, to you,
to erase the pain, the confusion, the betrayal,
burning from your eyes
into mine, that night?
Your eyes burn into mine, still,
whenever I think of you.
That fire is the first thing I see,
still feel.
If I’m meant to feel that fire forever,
a hard punishment it would be.
Hard, and justified.
I can see you in my dreams
almost as clear as stars in the sky.
I can see this fictional world
crafted behind my eyes
and attempted to craft on paper.
You began behind my eyes
and live there every day,
help me go to sleep
daydream
and accompany long drives.
The part of me that never developed
until now.
Short-lived recognition,
if you can call it that,
of believing I know you from somewhere
and hoping
you recognize me too.
But just in case you don’t
I’ll dart my eyes away
before we know for sure.
If I stand here,
still enough for long enough
and breathe,
I can feel the heat of the sun
penetrating my skin
warming me from the inside out,
I can feel the coolness
of the soft wind brushing
and sliding over me,
I can feel the solid, firm ground
unwavering beneath my feet.
I feel the heat and the coolness
at the same time,
inside and outside
my body.
Open my eyes to be blinded
by the sun
dancing across the water
and a new gust of wind
tousling my hair.
Heartbreakingly beautiful.
The most troubling of anxieties
shattering of hearts
conflicting of minds
magnetic of smiles
and piercing of eyes
create the best poetry.
You may find it in the
least expected of places;
what you want,
what you’re looking for,
if you can only keep your
eyes and heart
open.
The longer you look
the more that appear,
faintly at first, emerging from the
blackened sky, until
millions of stars cast their light
upon our eyes.
Close your eyes, lose focus
and open them to experience
the wonder all over again.
Satellites roam, airplanes jet
and the soft, cool breeze of night
finds its way under the blankets
to rest against shivering skin.
Shivering
from the coolness
and
from the humility enveloping my soul.
Looking at you from across the room,
yearning for your eyes to find
and connect with mine.
All I want, all I need,
is for you to see me. Notice me.
Acknowledge that I am here and I am looking at you.
Your eyes are a swirl of greens
from sage to emerald, and olive to forest
that sweep me away to the countrysides of Kerry.
I know not where in the world I stand
when I look at you and my thoughts jumble.
All I want, all I need,
is for you to see me. Notice me.
I have meandered into your eyes before, as
these are not new shades of green attracting my fancy.
While enchanting, I also know them to be manipulative
and perhaps that is how I have best come to know them.
How they are implanted into my memories, withholding my escape.
You too described my eyes as being beautiful,
but perhaps you saw them as easy, or temporary,
all the while knowing you would not be the one to tell me so,
for I am a ‘smart girl’, one of my traits which are admirable to you.
All I want, all I need,
is for you to see me. Notice me,
because I need to tell you that you were right. I am a smart girl.
Although I doubt you seek my affirmation for your righteousness.
I am a smart girl.
Smart enough to understand why you left.
And I want to capture your eyes of green one last time
so you can see the fire within mine.
Dawning Words 