the unique becomes the universal

Trees, forests, water
and time away from home
pulled my heart to the north,
to Waskesiu.

For years
I have heard, from people countless,
of Waskesiu being included in their summer plans
and each spoke of the place
with such fondness
that it made me want to stay away.
I did not want to find joy
in the same place as so many others
for fear that doing so
would render me ‘common’, ‘basic’,
or ‘just the same as everyone else’.
I fiercely believed
I needed to be different;
I needed to find a different place
to nourish myself
so I could stand apart from the crowd.
My mind told my heart
I was not allowed to go there;
I would not be happy in being the same.

With shifting priorities and family structures
this year, Waskesiu made sense
and yet,
I remained determined to spend the time
in a way that afterwards
when I shared my story
it would land outside what I assumed to be
the ‘typical’ experience.

We rented a cabin,
we brought our five-and-a-half month-old puppy,
we cooked our own food,
we hiked kilometers of trails.

We encountered hundreds of people
and dozens of dogs
and as I observed my surroundings
I saw people
laughing and talking and playing together,
running, reading, chasing after each other,
enjoying time alone,
in family gatherings spanning generations.

My eyes scanned the beaches
painted with rainbows of towels, umbrellas and bathing suits,
picnic tables holding families and food,
and hiking trails leading the way
deep into the forests
otherwise unseen from the main roads.

As I watched these hundreds of people
each in their own way
connecting with nature,
I felt my need for competition,
my need to be different,
my fear of fitting in,
fade away.
Instead, I began to think about
how many people
every summer
come to places like this
to be amongst the trees, on the sand, in the water,
away from home –
somehow
hundreds, if not thousands,
of people find some degree of reprieve and restoration
in coming here.

The unique becomes the universal.

I began to understand
the scenes before my eyes
illustrated a commonality
connecting us to our humanity –
that being in nature,
feeling the sun on our skin,
squeezing sand between our toes,
breathing in the pine of the forest
and living amongst the wilderness
are perhaps inherent needs
to us as human beings.

Perhaps it’s a need for me to wholly embrace,
rather than hold at an arm’s distance
in fear of this collective commonality,
what I need to nourish my soul.

Sameness is not always the enemy.

new assurances

Awaiting events
scheduled into tomorrow’s calendar,
excitement serves as the energy source
stirring the restless butterflies
at the base of my stomach.

There’s a gentle breeze rustling the trees
on this bright Monday morning,
dropping dried-out pine cones to the ground
and stirring up dust in the streets.
On the jostling branches
I can see a few birds, small,
tightly clasping the wood
and chirping, singing, still,
songs of joy.
I can see them, I can hear them,
their assurance of spring’s arrival.

An opportunity to see,
what we have been told is true
by numerical values,
in a different way,
with our own eyes.

what the story does to me

Time passes by me
quickly, effortlessly, joyfully.
I barely comprehend where it’s gone
when I look up at the clock
to register the difference in numbers.

That’s what the story does to me.
I enter a new, beautiful world,
a world I created.
I could stay there for hours.

I come alive there. I feel my heart glow.
And when I step away,
I’m counting down the minutes
until I can return.

electrifying joy

I held on to you for years
believing that if I did not,
the electrifying joy you brought to me
would leave with you
and leave me dark and dull.

For years
I believed you were
my source of joy.

It wasn’t until you faded away
and at last I cut the rope
I found a similar joy
in someone else.

For always,
you will be the one
who first brought to me that electrifying joy,
but not the only.