electrifying joy

I held on to you for years
believing that if I did not,
the electrifying joy you brought to me
would leave with you
and leave me dark and dull.

For years
I believed you were
my source of joy.

It wasn’t until you faded away
and at last I cut the rope
I found a similar joy
in someone else.

For always,
you will be the one
who first brought to me that electrifying joy,
but not the only.

leave this pain behind

I want to run away, escape,
leave this pain behind
in my rearview mirror
and dust.

I have learned what it sought
to teach me,
know where I still need to grow
and even how pain can help.
I know this. I understand this.
But I want it to go away.