Tag: life

yesterday, today, tomorrow

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday
the sun never shone,
never emerged from behind the clouds,
hell, I don’t even know if it was there.
I existed in darkness.
I cannot say I lived in darkness
for I barely felt alive.
I just was.
Weights wrapped tight around my ankles
and a boulder on my chest
kept me in the darkness,
not that I wanted to leave, anyway.
What is the point of all this?

Today
I felt the sun penetrating my skin
while my eyes remained closed in sleep.
I see no clouds in the sky,
just the sun
beaming down on everything, and me.
I still feel the boulder
but my ankles move free
and I marvel at this gift of life
and light.

Tomorrow
offers only guesses at the sun’s intentions
and my mind’s interpretation.
I could check the forecast,
anticipate a plan to bring success and light
but it would be all for nothing
as history dictates.

Yesterday
I was handcuffed in the trunk.
Today
I sit in the driver’s seat.
Tomorrow
there could be a flat tire.

Up and down, and side to side
strapped tight into this roller coaster seat
I sit, blindfolded,
holding on to me, for dear life.

All I have,
is me,
now.

movie opportunity

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

After we lose connection
we almost always have the opportunity
to reconnect.
The movies sell us this idea
with dramatic music and obvious build-up
to the main event,
where broken hearts are whole once more.

Life is not like the movies.
We do not hear background music or see dramatic irony
to know when we are on the path
to re-connection.
In times like these,
maybe what we need to listen for
are the silent streets
and seldom-heard sounds within our own homes
to build the movie suspense.
We, right now,
have an opportunity to reconnect with the selves
we have lost in the midst of the non-stop,
chaotic lives that came to a halt,
because of another organism
who finally got its turn in the spotlight.

We can reconnect with ourselves,
the souls we call our own
and the souls of those near and dear.
Before we live in regret
we can repair those broken links
and make our hearts whole, and healed,
again.

This is the opportunity
to take over the script, and dialogue, of our movie.

Will you pick up a pen?

how fast change happens

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

We can see
hundreds of different sunsets
all in one night,
a kaleidoscope of colors,
where to look away even for a minute
and look back again,
decorates our eyes with a brand new view,
and we wonder,
at how fast change happens.

We can see this,
marvel at and treasure
our lives, and how fast change happens,
with this same sense of wonder
if we choose.

mosaic in a cup

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

One whole person
cannot fill your cup completely
other than you.
One you can fill your cup,
which cannot sustain with only one
ingredient.

Explore, discover, ask,
how different people, places, thoughts,
can fill your cup
in a combination so unique to you,
it dances back into your eyes
like a mosaic,
imperfectly perfect.

There is so much noise

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

So many words
by so many people
out there,
telling me not to trust myself
telling me how to find my purpose
telling me how to take control of my life.

There is so much noise filling my head
telling me to do this or that,
that I cannot trust myself
and I likely do not have control of me,
leaving me in a disarray
screaming into a pillow
in an attempt to escape the noise.

I spend more time reading about
and listening to
people who preach what to do,
by the time I’m done
I feel more confused about what to do
than before I started.

Wise are these words, yes,
but so too are those within me
which have led me to who
and where I am now.
Perhaps they deserve more attention
than those screaming at me from
beyond,
as they whisper softly from within,
“I know how to help you.”

May we all build a trail

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Build a trail just for you.
Wind it between mountains,
across valleys.
Make it durable to weather storms
but malleable to change.
Carve out a little more each day,
find the destination as you go.
Your trail is your own
for you alone are in control.

May we all build a trail
unique and meaningful
curating joy and purpose.
May we hold the courage to defend our trail
against conforming ideals
and external expectations.
May we gain strength from others,
lending it to us
when we fall under attack.

May we unite with each other
to defend as one
and celebrate as many.

footsteps, furniture and new voices

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

The floor creaks under the weight
of footsteps, new and many.
Bodies rest upon furniture, furniture
which scarcely receives human contact.
Laughter and conversation
ring through the air,
of all ages and volumes.

Pushing us beyond comfort
for a few days
brings new appreciation for retreating
back, into routine and calm.

Despite temporary discomfort,
the footsteps, furniture and new voices
mean family and love are near.
Practice gratitude, and embrace
this chance, to fill your heart.

my past self

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I turn around,
take a look back at my past self,
read old journals
relive near-forgotten memories
and I think of her.

I yearn for her,
the young girl who thought
she had it all figured out,
a naive romantic
a dreamer.

What would it be like
to step back into those worn out Adidas shoes
and take in again her optimistic hopes
of the future, of the world beyond?

I ache for her pain,
revel in her happiness.
Some parts of her remain
in me
and other parts
I wish to recover from the buried sand.