I live my life through the words I write
Talking to myself
as I would to a friend in pain.
You don’t have to be perfect today,
or any day.
Listen to your body
and give her what she needs.
Take it easy. Be gentle.
Do what feels good.
Love yourself through this.
This is only temporary.
I’m here for you.
You are not alone.
I need you
more than you likely know
and more than I likely say out loud.
It’s OK to take it easy,
slow down your pace for a while,
if your body tells you it needs such.
I hear this from my body today,
a yearning to just be,
without constraints or expectations.
She yearns for me to listen, and oblige,
the least I could do.
She asks for love, and compassion,
and acceptance.
Unconditionally.
“Love me just the way I am, now.”
So today, I will slow down,
listen to, and love
my body.
To know
that the time we spent together,
though short, and long ago now,
still loops through my mind
brings me joy,
amidst the anguish,
for it proves to me
I am open to finding love
everywhere.
I think back to years ago
recalling small, singular events
of you, and me, and us.
I start with what I remember,
then my mind switches to imagination
and runs away.
As it runs away
it conjures stories and conversations
I know never happened,
but are real enough behind my eyes
I sit confused, uncertain.
Did we kiss?
Did we date?
Did we love each other?
Or,
did we end before we could begin?
Time is all I need
just a little more time
alone, with my thoughts,
and dreams to fill my mind
with love, and the painful beauty
or what could have been.
Love yourself a little harder now
through the pain that came from your own hands
through the pain in your body
through the fear of the world out there.
Love yourself through it all
today
and tomorrow
and the next.
Sometimes
I dream in memories
of you, and me,
and the toxicity surrounding us.
I dream
of my naivete,
the youthful, innocent, optimism I held
even for you.
I dream
of what I chose to see
and lived for.
I dream in memories
because sometimes
they hurt less than reality.
It tastes good in the moment
a perfect fit into all the right receptors
to provide comfort,
and love.
More must be better than a little
so indulge,
and comfort it will continue,
until it’s gone.
When you’re left, at the end,
feeling unlovable,
love yourself the hardest, then.
The one second I chose
to glance out the window
was the same second
you chose to land on the branch.
I immediately wonder
what meaning you bring,
what hidden message you carry,
what I’m destined to interpret.
You make me think of him.
Maybe
it was only coincidence.
A magnificent coincidence.
Dawning Words 