Tag: mental health

emotions from a wild mind

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Taking control over me
they have climbed into the driver’s seat
to steer off in a new direction
deviating so far from where I was
and wanted to stay.
Emotions
turned free from a wild mind
to cause mayhem and disrupt the planned route,
pushing me to the cliff’s edge
without my feet ever touching the ground.

Too far to turn back around,
I cannot jump back on to the ledge
once I descend in air,
so I fall
and drag you with me.

If only I could take a firmer hold of the wheel
and stay in the lane,
I would.

engulf

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

All happiness is gone,
sucked and drained out of me
by a baster
that feels small, but powerful.

I see it transfer all it took from me
and walk far away into the distance
to somewhere and someone else.
I am left here,
this hollow, void shell of a body
with nothing inside.

I see other people
who have fought off these basters
or never encountered them at all,
and don’t want to be near them
for when comparisons start
and I pretend to be full like them
the void magnifies,
and engulfs me.

It engulfs me.

A wave crashes

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

A wave crashes into the sand,
the sand unmarked and smooth
with no footprint left of human or animal,
smooth.

A wave crashes into the sand,
obliterating any remnant peace or calm
once there,
leaving rough, disturbed rocks
strewn about haphazardly
as the water rescinds back into the ocean.

A wave crashes into the sand
like a monster rears his head,
with destruction looming
even while he waits, patiently,
to attack.

my face tells the story

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

My face often gives it away;
how I’m really feeling
without a need for accompanying words.

Lately,
it tells of inner turmoil,
expectations too high for me to reach
and overflowing from my plate,
excessive concern and worry
and wishing that things were different,
that I was different.

Raised, reddened bumps
with under-eye shadows
and a new crease or two I do not recall before;
they really tell the story.

buried treasure

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Work it out,
like a tangled, tight knot
in the back of your neck
that when your fingers land on it
after searching across skin for miles,
it’s like finding buried treasure.
Flex the fingers,
open wide the treasure box
then dig deep, down,
until you find the bottom.

I find buried treasure all over
and throughout my body,
but this large box before me
was difficult to open.
My flexed fingers digging in deep
will show me what’s inside,
for everything is treasure
if viewed with an open mind.

it is awake, and here

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

It would be all to easy to cast blame,
deflect this on to you,
say it’s your fault, you started this.
If I had not met you
this would not be happening.
Easy,
but unjustified.

No, it’s more than that.
This beast had been hibernating out of sight
for some time,
and chose to show its face
when you were there.
I knew of its existence
and shudder at my naivete
in believing it could hibernate forever.

But all that doesn’t matter now,
all that back story
and circumstances.
What matters is now,
it is awake, and here.
I either find a way to tame it,
or get eaten alive.

darkness chooses for me

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I understand the need to look
for happiness
and that choosing it
is just that: a choice.

Despite this,
I cannot choose it easily
when all I see in front of me
is its opposite.
I settle in on the darkness
it seems,
before I even make a choice.
The darkness chooses for me,
and will not let me go.

You stay through it all
and say you love me.