no more boxes

I grew up believing
in the black-and-white of right-and-wrong,
the this-or-that,
the all-or-nothing.

As I chase validation
I see my fear of living outside the box
as deviation.

I see now,
it becomes clear,
the opportunity to see continuums
rather than boxes.

What is right, or what is wrong,
depends on your perspective.

What is black, or what is white,
depends upon the shade of your glasses.

I want to live
in a space so vast I cannot see the walls,
with colors and sounds and open boxes
scattered, their contents spilling,
where everything is right, is accepted,
in any given moment.

constructive feedback

Month after month, time after time,
I wind up here.
Nothing works.
I try, I hope, I visualize,
hell, I even pray.
Nothing.

The growing pile of failed attempts
casts a shadow, longer this month
than last.

Can someone please tell me
what I’m doing wrong?

just sit

Grant myself permission
to sit, just sit
here, with a glass of wine
and blanket wrapped around my shoulders,
eyes fixed, but unfocused
on the flickering candle
there, on the coffee table.
Sit. Just sit,
and do nothing else.