small steps in the dark

For the part of my brain
that thrives on planning
having no concrete plan
leaves me wondering what to do
like putting one foot in front of the other
in a pitch black room
I have never been in before
earnestly reaching out for anything
any clue of place or floorplan
taking the wrong step
feels scarier
than taking no step at all.

Eventually
my eyes will adjust to the darkness
if only slightly.
I need to keep moving
somehow.
Small, cautious steps
are better than none –
I whisper to myself
over and over.
Rewiring my brain
thought by thought
step by step.

trusting life

Trust that life is unfolding
before you
according to a plan
even though
you do not know what the plan is.

Trust that the universe
supports you
and is supporting you
even in ways you cannot see.

Trust that things happen for a reason.
Some will forever lay
beyond your control
and maybe that’s for the best.

nature defies stagnancy

It does little good to plan out ahead of time
how events will transpire
when you do not know
outside of this moment,
anything.

Everything changes. Change is the constant.
From minute to minute
we are reborn.

We may look ahead to the waters we can see
on our projected path
but have you never seen
the unrelenting evolution of water,
its constant movement,
even when the surface appears to be still
enough to resemble glass?
The waters will change by the time you get there,
as will you,
so tell me, what the point is, in
trying to plan and control for things
that do not and may never exist?
Those who attempt this control
allow heartbreak and anxiety and fear
to anchor them in the water,
though the waves and currents and flow of life persist;
nature defies stagnancy.

Relinquish the need for control
and watch the anchors reel back up into the boat.
Allow movement and fluidity and
uncertainty to become your allies.
You can trust them, wholeheartedly,
they will not abandon you
nor lead you to harm.

Trust in the constant of change:
the only constant we know.

true motives

It’s a funny thing
to realize, before my eyes
the true motives behind the plan
I had crafted for days,
perfecting every detail in my mind’s eye.

The truth stung me like a wasp.
Still, it hurts.