I live my life through the words I write
Heat growing, building,
turning a darker, deeper shade of red
with each passing minute.
Transferring,
separating particles from each other.
Expanding,
until there is nowhere else
for the steam to go
but up
and out.
Eventually
the same will happen to me
as it has before.
With no where to go
but up, and out,
my lid will rattle
and bounce around
making music.
A new color
rooted in natural with a new
hue of freshness.
Fresh ends cut
to absorb the new life around them,
time to start anew.
Sometimes the things little
expand into vast valleys
calling out for explorers
to test the new terrain.
Light me up,
now,
like the flame instantly flaring
upon the wooden match
scratched and dragged across
the igniter.
Make friction.
Scratch me, drag me and
light me up.
I want to burn.
Watch me burn.
My, what these hands have touched,
carried
and blockaded,
held
and transformed,
prepared to hoist my body
upright off from off the floor
or raise up while my head lowers
in humility,
hold your hand, touch your face
feel your heart beat
for me, or so I thought.
They feel weathered, yet strong,
predicting the forecasted weather
ready to protect me.
I look down to admire
the scars, calluses and salted stains
that you helped to put there
and I thank you
for my hands are now ready
for any battle.
May you find souls
whose hearts beat like yours
and enable
your soul to grow deeper
your heart to expand wider
and
your love to extend back
down into yourself.
May you find those souls
and hold on to them forever.
Sometimes
I lay awake at night thinking of you.
Where you are
Who you are with
What occupies you at this moment
What you are thinking about.
Someone once told me
that in psychology
to have a dream about someone
means they
are thinking of you
and long for you.
I wonder if you feel this
feel me
thinking about you,
if you have dreams about me
like I am trying to make you do.
Fight me.
I need you to fight me.
Bulldoze down my walls,
tell me how I’m wrong and
show me how I’m wrong
stab me with the truth,
make sure I have a long way to fall.
I need that
a strong slap in the face
a bucket of cold water over my head
a violent shake for me to leave my head
and see the reality from your view.
Unleash on me
whatever method necessary
to penetrate my thick skull
remove the rotting roots
and plant a new seed.
Fight me.
Counter-intuitive, it is,
to invest in self expression and breaking free
but
cower away from doing so
with people I am supposed to trust.
Maybe I’m not healed after all.
Speak a little louder,
dear heart.
Speak a little louder
so I may hear what you really want,
what I really want.
Speak a little louder
so you can guide me to where I am meant,
to the path I have been searching for
for years.
Speak a little louder
and let me inside,
I want to listen to you
for you can be my only guide.
I cross my legs and think of you,
laying in the hospital bed
secretly crossing your legs
when you thought the nurses weren’t looking
and smile with a sarcastic laugh
when they caught you in the act
and scolded you for it.
I cross my legs and think of you.
Dawning Words 