writing saved their life

I read books written by other people
(obviously)
and when they say
that writing saved their life
I feel dejected
because I want to say the same
but don’t feel like I can.

I want to be ‘like them’
but tell myself I’m not
because I am nobody
but a small measly voice
whispering into the abyss,
the ever-growing noise in the vastness
swallowing my words.

Moments later
I walk from the living room
to my bedroom
and gaze upon the stacks of notebooks
in the corner.
I flip through the ink-covered pages,
including in the book used today.

Perhaps my perception has been flawed.
Perhaps my life, too,
has been saved
and is being saved
by writing.

quarter-page confidence

I started a new page in the notebook
with a title at the top:
‘What are some things that I feel CONFIDENT in about myself?’
I started a page on the left,
assuming I would need the spread of both left and right pages
like an open book,
to display my confident knowings
for surely, once I started listing,
pages would fill before my eyes.

My list consists of four bullet points,
consuming a quarter of one page.
The rest of the page-spread remains blank.
I cannot think of more to add.

Adding this to the docket of items
to discuss
at my next therapy session.

bacteria and toxins and irritants

My body must be trying to tell me something
with her relentless outbursts
manifesting as
psoriasis
and eczema
and acne
and cysts
across my scalp
around my eyes
splattered on my face
because why not?

Creams and lotions
and acne-fighting facial cleansers
deploy to the offensive efforts.
Success is slow
and interjected with flare-ups.

I wonder if my body
is trying to rid herself
of bacteria and toxins and irritants.

I wonder if my body
is unintentionally attracting
bacteria and toxins and irritants
and for some reason
absorbing them, unable to let go?

I don’t like to see, to feel,
my body fighting a war
so I employ the creams and lotions
and acne-fighting facial cleansers
to help her restore balance and calm.

I know not for sure
her true message,
but her anguish is undeniable.