feel the energy required

Standing in a river
waist-deep
feel the energy required
in your deepest muscles
to fight against the current
to stay still
where you are.

The river, the water, the current,
your life,
wants to sweep you away
in flow
but you resist.

Feel the energy required
to resist the flow of life.
You want to stay, here, or there,
but wouldn’t it be easier
to relax your muscles
lift your feet from the riverbed
and submit to the current?

Parts of the forest
can be seen and appreciated only
from the river’s view.
Relinquish control
release the past
and let the water carry you.

trusting life

Trust that life is unfolding
before you
according to a plan
even though
you do not know what the plan is.

Trust that the universe
supports you
and is supporting you
even in ways you cannot see.

Trust that things happen for a reason.
Some will forever lay
beyond your control
and maybe that’s for the best.

mental health lifeboats

When you share an intention with someone else, usually, that carries with it an added layer of accountability. Now, not only have you given a voice to the thoughts traveling around inside your head, but the voice has landed upon the ears of other people. It’s not just you anymore.

But what do you do, when you want to change your mind?

You’re no longer the only person that knows. Other people know. What will they think of you, knowing that while you seemed so sure, so prepared just a little while ago, now you’ve retreated back to the timid and apprehensive version of yourself that believes they can handle the journey up this mountain on their own?

They might make you out to be a fraud. They might believe you are too scared to face whatever you think you need to face. They might think less of you, they might consider themselves to be superior to you. They may call you weak, or arrogant, or in over your head.

Or, they might just understand what you’re going through.

Only the people who have traveled a similar path can understand the terror, the uncertainty, the vulnerability, the bravery that comes with sharing your needs with someone other than yourself. It requires a new kind of strength.

Admitting that you need to talk to someone, admitting that you have reached a new point where you feel more fear than excitement for your future, admitting that you don’t know where to go on your own, admitting that you need help – these don’t make you any less than. In fact, they make you more than. Feeling uncertainty about your decision after you’ve ‘taken your stance’ is normal.

Use your knowing of others’ awareness of your current experience not as a rope tying you to an anchor, but as a rope connecting you to a lifeboat; available to you when you need some additional support.

You will be OK. You have a fleet of lifeboats ready and waiting to carry you to safety.

breath, stay close to me

My breath is here to support me,
staying close at hand,
a gentle friend to call upon
in times of need.
I have needed her
in the late night and early morning hours
yesterday, today, to guide me
away from anxiety,
back into reality.

Please, breath, stay close to me.
I need you now,
and always.

befriending me

Talking to myself
as I would to a friend in pain.

You don’t have to be perfect today,
or any day.
Listen to your body
and give her what she needs.
Take it easy. Be gentle.
Do what feels good.
Love yourself through this.
This is only temporary.

I’m here for you.
You are not alone.

constructive feedback

Month after month, time after time,
I wind up here.
Nothing works.
I try, I hope, I visualize,
hell, I even pray.
Nothing.

The growing pile of failed attempts
casts a shadow, longer this month
than last.

Can someone please tell me
what I’m doing wrong?