I live my life through the words I write
For most of my life
I have struggled
and do struggle
to see the forest
rather than the trees.
The split seconds
the brief and beautiful moments
where all I can see is the forest
the unified whole
seem so fleeting
when my gaze habitually resumes
onto individual trees
my heart shatters
at the let down
at the loss
at the implied regression.
Pause.
Breathe.
Zoom out.
See the forest
beyond
and within.
It’s always there.
Listen to her whispers.
They come from deep within
telling you what you already know,
reminding you of what you need
reminding you of what you’re meant to do
and nudging you forwards,
towards them.
Listen to her whispers
follow them
before they become screams.
The trees, the air, the sky
may be still,
but listen to the
hustle and bustle of community
living within and between.
Contrast of busyness and stillness
around
and within us.
So many words
by so many people
out there,
telling me not to trust myself
telling me how to find my purpose
telling me how to take control of my life.
There is so much noise filling my head
telling me to do this or that,
that I cannot trust myself
and I likely do not have control of me,
leaving me in a disarray
screaming into a pillow
in an attempt to escape the noise.
I spend more time reading about
and listening to
people who preach what to do,
by the time I’m done
I feel more confused about what to do
than before I started.
Wise are these words, yes,
but so too are those within me
which have led me to who
and where I am now.
Perhaps they deserve more attention
than those screaming at me from
beyond,
as they whisper softly from within,
“I know how to help you.”
Dawning Words 