Tag: mental health

a routine to maintain upkeep

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

With the cloth in my hand
I wipe away the dust, the grime,
make the porcelain shine white
and smell like lemons.

Week after week, it’s become a routine
to maintain upkeep.

With the breath flowing in and out of my nose,
I wipe away the splattered remnants
of anxiety’s lashes,
where she’s struck out against my body,
trying to take control of me.
My breath restores the light,
so I can shine, and smell like lemons.

Day after day, moment after moment,
minute after minute,
it’s become a routine
to maintain upkeep.

emotional storm

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Riding the waves of emotional lability
makes my soul weary.
How many hours of turbulence
must I endure
before the storm passes?
Fighting against the waves
brings more exhaustion than acquiescing
but even still,
I collapse, depleted of energy, at 10 AM.

I submit to the emotional storm,
praying,
I retain enough strength to stand again
when it clears.

end with me

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Most of what I live in fear of,
in the shadows of anxiety
are circumstances fabricated by my mind.
They come from within me,
my own doing,
and break me.

If they come from me
they can end with me too.

acknowledge the discomfort

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I can acknowledge the discomfort
and the depths it reaches
down into my blood and bones.
I can see it there,
give it a name,
inspect and observe its nature,
its behavior.

Why has it chosen to bury here
in my body?
What does it yearn to tell me,
to show me?
How can I help it heal, move on?
What can I find in the space
it leaves behind?

I can acknowledge the discomfort
and grant it permission
to help me heal,
and grow.

pressure

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Stop putting so much damn pressure
on yourself.
You are not in a life-or-death situation.
If you make a mistake
(what classifies a mistake anyway?)
there will be opportunities to do better next time.

If you keep holding out
scared of imagined consequences
preparing for remediation of the fallout
without taking action at all,
you will kill yourself
before getting a chance to see the success
beyond the worrying,
unwarranted.

constructive feedback

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

Month after month, time after time,
I wind up here.
Nothing works.
I try, I hope, I visualize,
hell, I even pray.
Nothing.

The growing pile of failed attempts
casts a shadow, longer this month
than last.

Can someone please tell me
what I’m doing wrong?

more than self care

~ jennadawn ~ Leave a comment

I take at least a dozen breaths,
formulate in my mind what I want to say
typing it out,
erasing, and typing it out again.
This is a safe space.

I ask the question.
How do you know when
you need more than just self care?

Reactions range from widened eyes,
to nodding heads and note-taking,
but him; he offers empathy.
We hardly ever need an engine replacement;
maybe it’s just an oil change or a tire rotation that we need.

Muted on the microphone,
I tremble and quiver in my thick wool sweater
as a tear slides off my cheek
and lands on the keyboard.